Dear Weathermen and women,

I understand you are in the business of manifesting panic to drum up milk and bread sales every so often, and that you revel in your ability to bring an entire viewership to the brink of insanity simply by standing in front of your useless green-screens and making “educated” guesses about natural forces that change on a whim, and that your success rate at being, I don’t know, RIGHT is something like 3.5%. I accept you for who you are, and for the most part I ignore you. But you should know that when you report things like this:


two days before I’m supposed to fly to Paris for what is obviously the most important trip anyone has ever taken, ever, my brain automatically interprets the situation like this:



when I should be thinking things like this:


Instead, all I’m seeing this:


and not this:


Lots of this:


but very little of this:


It’s enough to make a person feel like this:



And yes, while I know your track record at accurately predicting how much snow, if any, we’re expected to get is outdone by a blind T-rex making free throws from half-court, this “SUPER STORM SATURN” as you’re calling it is really, really giving me anxiety. I know that my flight doesn’t leave until tomorrow night, and that by then the worst of whatever is going to hit the region will be gone, and that in all likelihood, our flight will be on time and take off without issue…rationally, I know these things. But since when does my brain ever function rationally? You say snow and I start thinking, “WE ARE NEVER GETTING TO PARIS, I KNEW IT ALL ALONG.”

Yours, ever so disdainfully,


8 thoughts on “Pardonnez-Moi?

  1. Well it’s looking like snow for my wedding which is also a major bummer!

    Fingers crossed. Sitting on a plane waiting for it to be de-iced is really boring. You’ll be fine sweetie, I suspect nothing can keep you away from gay paree x

  2. you & your lovingly-packed couture (+ boyfriend) will be on the champs elysees stuffing macarons down your goblet before you can say ooh la la!

    bon voyage my little panic-stricken maiden… enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

  3. Super storm saturn? That is a pretty dumb name and based on that alone i think the likelihood of this truly happening are pretty low. I can’t imagine cnn reporting on “super storm saturn” and how it’s shutting down airports on the east coast. You are safe, mon ami, you are going to Paris!!!! Oui, Oui! xoxo

  4. Oh gawd! Heart Attack Snow!? What in the name is that compared to normal snow.
    As you say, it’s never as bad as they predict, the media ham it up for extra column inches, air time and the whatever.
    You’ll make it, never fear petit chou x

  5. Ha, sometimes I really do think those weather people are using a Magic 8 Ball to report the weather. Don’t punch this Pollyanna in the face, but I am hoping that your flight takes off without any delay or incident. Just think, Friday at this time you will be in Paris! Keep thinking this thought. xo

  6. I will be crossing my fingers (and toes!) that the storm will not affect your travel plans! So far it hasn’t even started to snow yet, at least where I am sitting. But I know exactly how you feel, I almost didn’t make it out to visit my family for Christmas…At least in Paris you’ll be safe from any more snow! xx

  7. Oh dear, I hope it really ends up being okay for you. I’m pretty sure you’ve been looking forward to this trip back since you left. Keeping my fingers crossed for ya

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