I’m just a staunch liberal with a bottle of wine and the tv tuned to CNN. This should be fun.
6:38pm First glass of wine poured. Peach wine, from a small vineyard in south Jersey. I’m starting light, saving the hard liquor for later.
7:00pm Obama takes Vermont (woo!) and Romney takes Kentucky (SURPRISE). Wolf Blitzer is already yelling at me, I don’t know if I can make it to midnight. Candy Crowley looks pissed to be at the Romney headquarters in Boston. Her hair looks GREAT though.
7:10pm CNN projecting Florida with 55% Obama. I inadvertently sprayed Boyfriend with spittle from yelling.
7:23pm Romney takes Indiana. That state is useless. I’m of the belief that everything between the coasts is irrelevant.
8:00pm Obama takes Connecticut, Delaware, D.C., Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Maine, and Rhode Island. Second glass of wine, complete.
8:11pm Me: “Just checking, are you a moderate or a liberal?” Boyfriend: “I’m a liberal.” Me: “That’s so sexy, say it again.”
8:29pm Boyfriend has politely requested I scale back on the amount of f-bombs I yell at the tv at full volume. Should’ve stopped me after my first glass of wine, dude. It only goes downhill from here.
8:32pm Boyfriend: “You don’t understand math….I’m sorry but it’s true.”
9:00pm Romney takes Kansas, Louisiana, Nebraska (I always forget this state exists), North Dakota, South Dakota, Texas, Wyoming, and Mississippi. A total of 72 electoral votes. Also the average IQ amongst inhabitants of those states. Obama takes Michigan, New York, and New Jersey.
9:18pm I want to love anything as much as John King loves his touch-maps.
9:31pm Television just froze and I had a heart-attack. Florida is giving me horrible anxiety. Also finished my third glass of wine.
10:00pm Well that bottle of wine was delicious. Boyfriend reminds me I have an 8am phone conference, woops. Obama takes Pennsylvania (way to go, Philadelphia! Holding it down 85% democratic) and New Hampshire. Can’t believe that was even a question. Romney takes Utah, Colony of Mormons.
10:28pm Called my mom, she said I should stop drinking. Moms are no fun. She worked the polls today and now she’s hosting a big viewing party with a bunch of friends. My mom is officially cooler than me. Rape Homies Akin and Mourdock both lost, THANK YOU. Guess the female body has a way of “shutting the whole thing down” after all.
10:45pm Wine headache. Please just call this thing so I can go to sleeeeep.
11:00pm Obama takes California, Hawaii (I’d say his “home state” but enough a-holes believe he was totally born in Kenya as a Muslim), and Washington. I’ve switched to water, fyi.
11:11pm Iowa and New Mexico! You’re supposed to make a wish at 11:11, right? I can’t tell you my wish or it won’t come true, but I bet you can guess what it is.
11:14pm Did I go to the bathroom and miss it????
11:18pm FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!!
11:25pm It might be the alcohol, but I’m crying uncontrollably out of joy. I am so excited about the next 4 years and SO PROUD of America for getting it right. I made the following earlier in the night but was waiting until he won to post it. Actually, I’ve been waiting my entire life to post this. Anything to make a Mean Girls reference.
12:00am Taking this party from the couch to the bed.
12:08am Not election related but OH MY GOD, I totally just got why that rapper is named FLO RIDA. FLORIDA! Oh my god I am delirious.
12:14am DUDE concede already. Game over, Big Bird would like to go to sleep happy. Gay marriage passed in Maine and Maryland!!
12:58am Wow, Romney’s concession speech was surprisingly human and sincere. If THAT Mitt had showed up during the election maybe he would be giving a different speech right now….lolol nah jk.
1:12am It’s like an all-out dance party at the Obama headquarters. So jealous.
1:17am I am so tired I actually hurt. This is 4 hours past my bedtime. I’ve been up this late like, 7 times in my life.
1:36am Aren’t Sasha and Malia exhausted?? They have school in the morning! Why am I still awake?! Oh right, to watch this historic moment. Aaand I’m crying again.
2:00am Confetti canons!!!!!! God that man can really give a speech, can’t he? And now I’m going to sleep. It’s been an amazing night, America.