Un Jour Comme Ca

more Paris vacation photos here

It is rainy and dark here this morning, and the first thing I was reminded of was a day a little over 4 months ago in Paris (mostly because the above photo is my desktop background). For the most part we had the most amazing weather the entire trip, but on the second day in Paris, as we wandered through the d’Orsay, we noticed the sky outside started turning dark. It had been sunny and hot only a few minutes before and we had baked while waiting in line to get in. We stopped to look out the window through one of the giant clocks in the old building. Sacre Coeur was in the distance, beyond the Tuileries, with black storm clouds approaching behind the white spires. As we went through the Degas Les Nus exhibit we heard the rumbling of the storm moving overhead, and when we emerged an hour later, it was pouring. We quickly darted down Rue de Bellechasse, my camera tucked under my shirt, to St. Germain and hopped into the closest metro. We were soaked, and it was thrilling.

I think I’m feeling so nostalgic today because last night we finished the guest room, which is wonderful and exciting and I’ll share photos of it all decorated on Monday. But it reminds me so much of my dad. There are paintings of his hung on the walls, his easel, with paint stains still on it, pictures of us on the bookshelf, an old map of Paris, and I laid on the bed in there for an hour last night, listening to the Midnight in Paris soundtrack and soaking it all in, and I cried. The room is literally everything I’ve ever wanted out of a space, and the only thing I could do was be sad about my dad not being a part of it. Paris and my dad are mutually exclusive to me, and it hurts my heart to feel so inspired by this French Provincial room that  he would have loved but can’t see.

I’m feeling very overwhelmed. Which is why I’m committing right now to making another trip to Paris before the end of the year. I don’t care if it’s for 4 days and it’s freezing. What is the point of working so hard and saving all this money if I can’t do the one thing I want to do with it? I need Paris. And I’m going back.

18 thoughts on “Un Jour Comme Ca

  1. Erin, you’ve done such a great job at creating a space that keeps you connected to a loved one and a beloved city. Eventually, I think it will bring smiles and not tears. And good on you for committing to a next trip to Paris!

    1. Thanks, Santa. I appreciate the pick-me-up! Sorry I was being such a downer, haha. At least it motivated me to go back to Paris!

  2. Awww, sweetheart! All I want to do is give you a great big hug!

    Your Dad is part of it. He’s in the paint stains on the easel, his heart and soul are in his paintings and his blood runs through your veins. I just know he’ll be so happy to see just how beautifully you’ve kept his memory alive.

    Hooray for another trip to Paris! Oh, and this time you’re not leaving without seeing the Brit half of The Pia Posse! :D x

    1. Thank you, darling! You always know what to say. I’m so sorry for having such a crappy day and taking it out all over my blog! But yes, you’re not going to let me get away without seeing you lovely ladies this time! xoxo

  3. Oh this was heartbreaking to read, dear. I think there’s a sadness when all wonderful projects come to an end, and of course you feel it acutely when it’s a project so completely infused with your dad. Sounds to me you were gearing up for a good cry, and honestly? I’m glad you got one. You’ve been pushing the creative spirit pretty hard of late, how can you not feel some fragility?

    If I had the money, I’d tag along with you, but wait. The most romantic city in the world? You probably want BF along for that, huh?! ;) xo

    1. You know, I hadn’t ever figured the whole creative push into the mix. Of course that has something to do with. It was a culmination of a lot of emotions just breaking through at the same time. Thank you for talking me off the ledge that day, darling. xoxo

  4. genuinely one of my loveliest memories with my dad was us climbing to the top of the sacré-cœur basilica, at his insistence!… he was in his seventies & me my thirties & despite having had both hips replaced & having an ever-so-slight fear of heights, he very nearly beat me to the top…
    don’t you think for one second that your dad isn’t enjoying that lovely room of yours… he’s just seeing it through your eyes instead of his!

    1. That’s such an amazing, heartwarming story! Oh I can just see the two of you racing to the top of those steps. Thank you for your sweet words, Sue. I like to think he’s seeing it through my eyes, too, that’s very comforting. xoxo

  5. Aw, Erin, my heart aches for you. I think Lauren said it quite beautifully, you’ve been creatively pushing yourself pretty hard lately (creating this space, writing, blogging…) and I think it’s appropriate for you to feel an overwhelming surge of emotions. (It’s kind of how the passionate operate.) Making the resolution to go back to Paris before the end of the year is a brilliant decision. It will give you something amazing to look forward to, and feeling hopeful is a pretty great feeling. (Your dad is beaming.) xx

    1. Thank you, lovely. I like being called a passionate! That’s a very flattering term. But yes, I think I just reached a boiling point and thankfully it’s dissipated and gone back to normal. I think ;)
      I think my dad would be happy, too. xo

  6. Oh my goodness I just cried too! that wasn’t what I was expecting when I read this! Awww your dad would have loved it, he’d be very proud of you I think.

    Yeay to Paris I might even sneak over and meet you this time….x

    1. Aww, Bird! Clearly we need to have a drink. You’re so sweet to say that, really. If you were to come to Paris I might burst! xo

  7. You know, it’s really because of you that Paris is on the top of my travel list, even though I was already in France this past spring. I’m looking at flights for this fall as well :)

    1. Hehe, I make no apologies! Everyone should travel to France. Although, maybe not, because then I’d never get tickets of my own. Hm.

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