No, not really. As Theresa’s daughter would say, “Let’s pretend.” I love real estate, I can’t get enough Million Dollar Listing, Selling New York, and, as the title suggests, House Hunters and House Hunters International. For fun I like to guess the prices of homes for sale in the neighborhood and then check to see if I’m right. In perhaps the most yuppie move in my arsenal, every Sunday morning I start with the Real Estate section of the NY Times. I’m always simultaneously fascinated by the articles about people paying 4 times what I pay for 1/8th of the square footage, and by the big ticket sales listings that I will never ever be able to afford no matter how many books I write or Saudi princes I marry.
credit: Marilynn K. Yee/The New York Times
This week it was the 7000sq ft. 18th floor co-op in the Sherry-Netherland building on Central Park South, with an asking price of (wait for it) $95 million. As in $95,000,000. As in sorry, I passed out halfway through those zeros.
The apartment has 7 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms, and features 2000sq feet of outdoor spaces spread across 3 terraces. Because it takes up the entire floor, it is accessible by any of the 3 manned elevators in the building. Monthly maintenance is $54,000 (!!!!) and includes, “daily housekeeping and turndown service, 24-hour concierge, and room service from Harry Cipriani, the glossy restaurant downstairs.” For $54K it better include someone to bathe and dress me every day, macarons delivered whenever I ring a little bell, and Gary Oldman on speed dial.
It’s not my taste decor-wise, so I’d need to have someone redecorate. Obviously.
Would you buy this place if you had a cool $100 million lying around? I don’t think I would. I’ve always said that if I suddenly came into a huge chunk of change, the first thing I would do is buy a little (okay, big) apartment in Paris. For less than 3% of the cost of this place, I could have a house in Paris and enough money to travel back and forth for the rest of my life. And I’d buy a Ladurée. Oh, and a monkey-waiter. I’ve always wanted one of those.