The votes are in (and other stories)

All of those times I incorrectly assumed I had 5 readers, shame on me…all along, I’ve had 6!

6 votes! This is exciting for me, because it means I’m really not writing for just myself, even if I’m not really writing for a group larger than the playable characters in Clue. Still, I’m grateful for every vote and comment and page view, so thank you thank you thank you.

That said, the biggest vote getter was the current image header, with 3 votes (50%!) and each of the other choices got 1 vote a piece. I’m not sold on it yet even though the masses have spoken, so don’t be surprised if a previous incarnation appears back at the top, or something altogether new and exciting shows up. Ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges!

And now for something a little less fun. Do you want to hear the most obnoxious thing in the entire world? Lady Gaga. Oh, and this:

Last Thursday I received a summons for Federal jury duty. Awful, soul-crushing, schedule-interrupting, I’ll-likely-get-murdered-by-a-friend-of-the-defendant jury duty. You guys, I can’t even watch episodes of Law and Order by myself without then checking every closet and potential-murderer-hiding-spot in my apartment. I damn near faint at the sight of blood. And my luck, I’ll probably get called for a case that involves a string of gruesome homicides and have to study forensic evidence for 18 months (because, you know, Federal court cases can drag on forever) and then once we convict the defendant, I’ll mysteriously end up dead out front of my building. And there are so many things left I haven’t bought yet! 

I’d made my peace with that heinous injustice of having to perform my civic duty (not really) when, on Friday (aka THE NEXT DAY) I received a summons in the mail for city jury duty. MAJOR DOUBLE-U-TEE-EFF. I’m clearly being taken advantage of by the court system. When I suggested to my mother that my only clear plan of action was obviously to move abroad, marry a foreigner, and renounce my American citizenship, she accused me of making a bigger deal out of this than was warranted. Excuse me, mother. I have a very comfortable routine of working and internet shopping that I do not like to deviate from. And hello, all of that Easter candy I bought on clearance at CVS isn’t going to eat itself.

I should be playing the lottery or something, right? Or, at the very least, I’ve been more cautious about walking outside in the rain lest a freak thunderstorm roll through and it’s the one day I’m wearing my tin-foil hat.

So, of course, to make myself feel better, I’ve reached deep down and found the greedy consumer I know I can be. Viola! An outfit for you lucky bastards in warmer climates:

My wallet hates me for this outfit. But oh! This is more color than I normally wear, as my favorite color is gray. How perfect for strolling along piers and flea markets and sipping fresh made lemonade. Hey, East Coast, STOP RAINING.

8 thoughts on “The votes are in (and other stories)

  1. I got the Federal Summons once too. I sat there all day and havent been called again. So luck is on your side. Besides its probably some lame white collar crime and the worst that will happen is the accomplices try to bribe you and then thats just more money for shopping so youre good all around

  2. Snort about the Easter sweets. The Cadbury’s MASIVE EGGS have been yodeling their siren song to me EVERY TIME I WALK PAST THE SHOP. Dieting is so effing tedious.

    And this jury duty sounds lame. They should do like we do here and Hang, Draw, and Quarter anyone who looks criminal or witchy.

    Oh, wai- what? We don’t do that anymore?


    1. Oooh, and I hadn’t even thought about how much worse off I’d be if I had BRITISH chocolate in my kitchen. Whenever I visit my family in Romford, or when they come here, I gain about 30 pounds of Aero bars around my middle. A slight exaggeration. It’s more like 25. Kudos to you and your amazing willpower!

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