But what else is new?
A highlight of the trip–perhaps all of my dozen trips combined–was finally getting to go inside the Grand Palais. Entry was free the weekend I was there, and I’d been longing to stand inside the massive hall, with its iron lattice ceiling, ever since I saw this photo from the turn of the century years ago. It did not disappoint. I spent close to an hour and a half, just wandering from one end to the other, marveling at the vastness of the space. I can’t begin to describe the scale of it. It felt like stepping back in time, and if there’s ever an excuse for me to start fantasizing about life in Belle Époque Paris, this one was as good as any.
Other highlights: buying a 3€ used copy of Daphne du Maurier’s “The Scapegoat” at my new favorite English bookshop in the city, and sitting en terrasse at Place Dauphine with a glass (or two) of rosé and reading. It had been almost four years that I took this photo, and there I was, sitting in that exact spot:
Everything comes full circle.
This trip was a true vacation, and I fully realize how spoiled that sounds, given that I was just there in February. But that was a work trip; I wrote the entire time. The time before that, in September, I had class three days a week. This trip, I had absolutely no plans. It was a week to clear my head, relax, and, thrillingly, get to know my new camera. I’d bought a secondhand Fuji, lured by its compact size and weight and its true optical viewfinder (I’m a purist). It’s definitely not in the same league as my Canon 6D full-frame, but my shoulder aches after carrying that beast around all day. My 12th trip to Paris seemed like as good a time as any to test it out; it’s not like I haven’t taken these exact photos before, so if the quality was terrible or I couldn’t find my way around the settings as comfortably as with my Canon–I’ve had it for about five years, I could work it in my sleep–it wouldn’t be a total waste.
Thankfully, I think it worked out pretty well! I barely noticed the weight of it in my bag each day, and its discreet size meant I didn’t feel quite as awkward with it slung over my shoulder, or when I pulled it out at a restaurant to snap a photo of my meal. The auto-focus isn’t as fast as my Canon, and sometimes it searches and misses, especially in low light, but it’s a fantastic, true ‘walk around’ camera and I don’t regret buying it (especially since I got it for a third of what it would have cost new). Pas mal, non?
I hadn’t been back to Paris in June since 2014, and while you’ll never hear me complain about Paris in the winter (the dark and moody weather makes a perfect contrast against the orange glow of cafe lights) there is something undeniably alluring about the summer there. The sun doesn’t set until close to 11pm, the weather is comfortable (though I had to buy a sweatshirt my first day there. In June.), and I forgot what it was like to not have to regularly duck into a restaurant or shop to thaw out. I guess what this proves is that there really are no bad seasons to visit Paris, and that’s what I tell people then they ask me when they should go. Just go. It rained my whole first day and I had an embarrassing incident on the bus with the RATP transit police (a scam! It’s such a long story, but one which ends with me going to the US Embassy and then giving a police statement at the préfecture in the 8ème, and being reimbursed by my credit card company without question, and all three entities had heard my exact story before from other targeted tourists that same day.) but still, it was home. It is home.
Sun-soaked photos to come, je te jure.
That Paris exists, and anyone could choose to live anywhere else in the world will always be a mystery to me.
I am so lucky to have Paris. France, more generally, because I can’t forget about La Ciotat. This trip was unlike any other for me, a combination of the weather and the time of year and the foliage and the southern coast and my 18-hour French immersion course. All of it was so good. I stepped out of my comfort zone in a big way this trip, and was rewarded for it. There were so many highlights it’s hard to pick a single thing, but the memory I keep coming back to over and over is sitting in the Jardin du Luxembourg, on a bench in the early afternoon, with the leaves crunching underfoot and rustling overhead, doing my French homework. (once a nerd, always a nerd)
So it goes without saying: I really miss Paris. When I’m not there, the distance feels insufferable, insurmountable, like I’m chasing a forgotten dream that’s somehow always just outside my grasp. Could it have all been real? The air, the sounds, the light, the steady calm that settles over me the moment my feet touch French soil? It’s not just that I’ve fallen in love with Paris–that happened a long time ago–it’s that I’ve now fallen in with Paris, matched its step, its rhythm, its secrets. Instead of being consumed by longing when I’m away, I’ve turned instead to gratitude. How lucky am I, to love Paris this much? To love the city so much it’s changed the fundamental makeup of my DNA, altered me irrevocably? Paris will always be there, and it will always be there for me. Everyone has their own Paris, if they’re lucky enough. I’m lucky enough to have mine.
I want to tell you all about La Ciotat.
Four years ago, I closed my eyes and pointed at a map of France, aiming along the southern coast between Marseille and Monaco. I needed a small seaside town that wasn’t well-known, not overly touristy, a little less glitzy and moneyed that the obvious resort towns like Cannes and Nice. Somewhere working-class French locals went every summer. I ended up in La Ciotat, approximately 20km east of Marseille, near Cassis. Famous for being the town where the Lumiere brothers made one of the first motion pictures–of a train pulling in the station–and the birthplace of pétanque–French bocce–La Ciotat is a quaint, sleepy commune with all the charm of the Côte d’Azur, but little present-day notoriety. In other words, it was a perfect place to open my novel. Thanks to Google Maps, I was able to craft four or five chapters in the town; how hard is it to write about two characters spending afternoons at the beach when you can visit the beach in Street View, even if it’s thousands of miles away?
After a whirlwind 30 hour trip in real life, I can safely say I got it mostly right.
On my first Friday in Paris, I took an early morning Uber to Gare de Lyon, where I boarded a train to Marseille. It was raining that morning in Paris, a rarity this trip, but as the train pulled further and further south, the clouds cleared and the sun started shining. Three hours later (after a nap and some quality reading time), we disembarked at Saint-Charles station to balmy weather and a thick, glorious sunshine unlike anything I’d seen before. The light truly is different down there, and even someone as sun-averse as myself, I had a hard time resisting its glow. I bought a ticket for a local train headed to Hyères, and within half an hour I’d arrived in La Ciotat. (Side-note: no one ever checked my ticket on the local train, to or from Marseille, so I basically donated €8 to SNCF out of the kindness of my heart.)(Side-note #2: the French rail system is a thing of beauty and a model of convenience.)
All of my research and Google Earth stalking hadn’t prepared me for just how cute this place is; I couldn’t handle it. The bus into the center of town–which cost a whopping 90 cents for an all-day pass–played Stromae and Keane (!!), and as it rounded a corner and I got my first view of the glittering Mediterranean water in the early afternoon sun, I gasped out loud. Being late September, the town was mostly empty of tourists, leaving only locals around and all of the restaurant terraces facing the sea empty. La Ciotat is small, I can’t stress that enough; I walked from one end of the waterfront to the other in about 40 minutes. One the north side there are long beaches, and all the way at the south is a giant nature reserve, Parc du Mugel, with calanques and rocky inlets with shrubby swimming holes, and tons of fishing boats docked in the Vieux Port in the middle of town. It’s decidedly working-class and unfussy, there’s graffiti and the paint on every building is delightfully chippy. The age of the local population averaged about 60, from my brief study, and the pace there is just different, slower, more relaxed. Melted, even.
I stayed right at the end of the Vieux Port, overlooking boats bobbing in the dock, and the long pier that marks the end of the city center. At the end of the pier is a two-story dance club called Sûr Les Quais, which features a different theme and DJ every night, and also features prominently in the beginning of my book. Since it was the off-season and the hotel was empty, they upgraded my room at check-in, and so I was able to write on my large balcony the next morning, staring directly at the club. It was the eeriest thing, being in a place that for so long has felt fictional, alive only on the page for me. I half-expected my characters to come stumbling out of the club at 4am–when the town finally went to sleep that night!–and call for me at my window. (Does that sound psychotic?)
For dinner that night, I ate along the water at a crêpe restaurant, and brought a book with me. I’d started reading Julia Child’s “My Life in France” on the plane to Paris–I like themed reading–and she had been casually narrating my trip thus far, describing Paris in September as the weather changed, etc. As I tucked into my dessert, I was about 200 pages in when Julia’s husband Paul gets reassigned to a posting in Marseille. “Oh!” I thought. “How funny. Now she’s following me to the south of France.” Not a paragraph later, she and Paul take a drive along the coast with a packed picnic lunch, and stop in La Ciotat for the afternoon. My eyes bulged out of my head. There I was, sitting in La Ciotat, reading about Julia Child sitting in La Ciotat, a town I’d never heard of before randomly picking it off a map years before. Spooky!
The whole experience in the town felt like that, honestly. Like I’d made this place up and it had come to life on its own, existing exactly the way I’d written it, and only for me. To say I’d fallen in love would be an understatement.
Look! Photos of people! This trip I grew more comfortable taking photos of people, rather than waiting for everyone to leave my shot, and also not taking photos, rather than walking around with my camera glued to my face. This was my tenth trip, and I felt noticeably more relaxed about capturing the city; in ten trips, I think I’ve taken every cliché photo you can take of Paris, how many more shots of the Eiffel Tower or Haussmann buildings do I really need? I still ended up shooting plenty, but was also contented to simply look at things and experience them without immediately reaching for my camera. There’s an oversaturation of blogs and Instagram accounts and communities that highlight Paris, and with them, an unnecessary pressure to keep up and compete and feel included (at least for me). It was nice to break that reflex this time and not worry about missing the perfect shot of light hitting the dome of a grand building (if only because I already have hundreds).
And can we talk about those leaves? My daily trek through the Jardin du Luxembourg allowed me to watch the change of the season and the foliage on an ever-changing basis, and my god. I’ve now been in Paris in March, May, June, August, September, November, and December, and I used to think late May-early June was my favorite time of year here, but September swooped in and proved me wrong. Those colors!
To quote a little Doris Day: I love Paris in the springtime. And now I can safely confirm that I love Paris in the fall. I’ve been to Paris now in every season, this being my first trip during the arrival of autumn, though it certainly won’t be my last. It’s impossible to pick a favorite season; even dark, cold winter has its charms. The weather while I was there was beyond glorious: chilly in the morning and blue skies almost every single day, with the afternoon turning slightly warm. I slept with my apartment windows open, and would peel off my scarf by lunchtime, wandering with my coat open and basking in the incredible sunlight that seems to be somehow exclusive to the city. I didn’t think I could love Paris any more than I did, and then I went in the fall.
The French class I took at the Alliance Française added a structure to the trip that has been otherwise absent, unless you count self-imposed writing deadlines or my very strict macaron-consumption schedule. I was in class Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays for three hours every afternoon, and my route to class on the 85 bus took me through the city from Pigalle, past Les Halles, across Île de la Cité, and ended next to the Luxembourg gardens, where I would cross straight through and pop out on the western side of the park on Rue de Fleurus, where the class was. Not a terrible commute. I fell in love with that jardin, watching the foliage change from green to gold to orange in the two weeks I was there. And while the class was challenging, and left my brain exhausted juggling le mise en relief (level B2!), I absolutely loved it, and am already considering another longer stint there. The class I take at the Alliance Française in Philadelphia is only one night a week for two hours, while the Alliance there offers far more intensive options that I know would get me to my certification faster. That’s my ultimate goal: native fluency.
More photos to come (including lots of leaves, and a weekend trip to the coast).
Three years ago today, I landed in Paris for a two-month stint to work on my novel and, as cliché as it sounds, “find myself.” (The jury is still out on whether I should have come home.) It’s crazy to think how long ago that was; of all my Paris trips since (there have been five), that one still feels the most vivid and still with me. The weeks that I was there were transformative beyond words–literally. I wrote and wrote and wrote while I was there, and that still wasn’t the most important part of my experience. It was one of the happiest stretches of time in my life before or since, and my frequent trips back are, on some level, desperate attempts to repeat that magic, to find that feeling of absolute calm and certitude. It’s hard to explain to people the feeling that every day, you should be somewhere else, that your life is happening somewhere else without you, but it’s even harder to live it. That’s why I bounce back and forth so frequently.
(Also the butter.)
These photos are a bit belated (I’ve been back for over a month!) but about two weeks after I took them, I booked another flight back to Paris. I leave in 139 days. I’m going alone, again, and planning on taking a round of French class at the Alliance Française there and ducking out of town for the weekend and heading to La Ciotat, along the southern coast by Marseille. A large portion of my book takes place in that tiny town, and it would be nice to see it in person.
Until then, I’ll be reminiscing about the beautiful weeks I spent in Paris in the spring and early summer of 2014, about the gorgeous light, the view from the top, and the wonderful, unexpected moments that all feel like it was just yesterday.