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Bonjour! I’m Erin.
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Category Archives: Gary Oldman
I know there’s an old rule in writing that you’re never supposed to lead with the weather, but can we talk about how glorious the weather has been this week? Mid 60s, blue skies, just the right amount of wind. Spring has certainly, finally, sprung, and while it’s supposed to rain all day today, my mood is irreversibly buoyed by having been able to wear ballet flats to work this week without catching frostbite, thus displaying my blindingly pale cankles for the first time in months. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still winter’s biggest champion, but it’s hard not to love spring weather.
Herewith, my top five things this week:
1. The answer Gary Oldman gave to the question, “What is your guilty pleasure?”
And the beautiful soul who made it into a gif (his face!).
2. The new blog layout I’ve been working on:
But you’ll have to wait until Monday to see it! Such a tease, I know. It will be worth the wait.
3. This well-timed, eerily accurate fortune cookie fortune:
I had dinner with my brother, sister-in-law, and nieces over the weekend, and I opened my fortune cookie to this little gem. I generally don’t give much weight to fortunes, and I wouldn’t necessarily consider going to Paris to write a novel “exotic,” but this one was too perfect not to share.
4. This wonderfully weird Google Earth screencap:
YOU RAN HIM OVER. This was taken in Parc Monceau, just like this bizarre one, convincing me whoever was in charge of the camera that day must have been high.
5. The new “No Work After 6pm” rule French unions just enacted:
Not only do the French enjoy a 35 hour work week, 6+ weeks of paid vacation per year, and, you know, life in France in general, French unions this week “signed a new, legally binding labour agreement that will require staff to switch off their phones after 6pm.” No work emails, no work texts, no work after 6pm. The unions believe there should be as little intrusion to the private lives of workers as possible, which means that “companies must ensure that their employees come under no pressure” to work after you leave the office. Considering I live with someone that takes work calls at 11 at night and 7 in the morning, this is a rule I’d love to adopt here. (Thanks to my friend Audrey for sending me this story!)
What are you up to this weekend, kiddos? I will be packing, and I’m so excited about it. I already did a test run a few months ago, true story, to make sure I could bring everything, cross-referencing the piles of folded clothes with one of the 345694262413 lists I’ve made. This time I’m making it official by bringing out the suitcases. 19 days!
The other night as I was falling asleep, Jamal sitting up watching House Hunters next to me, I heard the most marvelous thing a girl obsessed with Gary Oldman could hope to hear in the dark of her bedroom: Gary Oldman. “It sounds like…” I thought, drowsily, but then again when am I not hallucinating about hearing Gary Oldman’s voice? It didn’t sound like the usual loop of him reading poetry to me that I like to imagine; he was talking about something indecipherable. A phone? That couldn’t be Gary Oldman. “Wait…is it?” I sat up. There he was: on the television, staring moodily out the window, none other than my crush to end all crushes, Gary Oldman.
Can you seriously imagine anything better than being jolted awake by a THIRTY FULL SECONDS of this:
It’s the most mesmerizing thing I’ve ever seen. Needless to say I had trouble falling back to sleep. I wanted to immediately run out and buy what I am now referring to as The Gary Oldman Phone.
Oh, Gary Oldman! I know I had to break up with you last year, but I hope we can be together again in the future! True love waits for no man, I know, but–
OH, GARY OLDMAN. You know how to make a girl swoon.
PS. Guess who learned how to make gifs from video?! THIS GIRL.
March 27, 2014 / Gary Oldman /
I’d forgotten how much fun these are, but last week put me back in the swing of things.
1. The nonstop LOLs this video brought me:
Some hilarious wizard dubbed an Evgeni Plushenko ice skating performance from the mid-90s with Ginuwine’s R&B bump-and-grind anthem “Pony,” and while it might seem random, the result is superb. Plushenko’s original routine somehow, magically, lines up perfectly with the song, and if you can make it to 2:55 when his pants come off (seriously!) without tears rolling down your face, you must have a more mature sense of humor. Thankfully, I do not, and I therefore found this hysterical and much more preferable to the actual ice skating we saw at the Olympics.
No explanation necessary. (!!!!)
3. My new bag, in preparation and expectation of spring:
I know, color! A few weeks ago I undertook an exhaustive search, employing all of my Internet Squirreling skills, to find The Perfect Spring Bag. Requirements: red or poppy, crossbody, big enough to hold my camera, zipper closure, under $300. You guys, it was a doozy, full of drama (I bought a bag I thought was The One, only to find out it wasn’t big enough, and then the company tried to screw me on their return policy, oy) but has a happy ending: I happened to wander into Macy’s when they were having a Coach sale, and the rest, as they say, is history. For just a little more than half my original budget thanks to the sale, this beauty met all of my requirements and then some. I’m in lurve.
4. This wonderfully weird Google Maps screencap:
I spend a large amount of my time “wandering” around Paris in Google Maps, as you know by now. Whatever, I miss Paris, it’s cheaper than a flight, and if I lean really close to the computer screen I can almost delude myself into believing for a moment that I’m there. So imagine my shock during a leisurely “stroll” through Parc Monceau when I came across a pair of legs, running on their own accord. Legs! What a delightfully awful Photoshop job, Google! I rire‘d so hard I thought I would need my inhaler. It’s the little things.
5. This stunning book-shaped lamp:
I can’t even! Designer Max Gunawan’s Lumio Book Lamp looks like a normal hardcover book when closed, but fans open and becomes an LED nightlight. “The strong neodymium magnets embedded within its covers allow this transformable light to be expanded 180 degrees to its fullest brightness, or mounted upon any magnetic surface.” It’s powered by a rechargeable battery, good for up to eight hours at a time, which is plenty of time for reading in bed before falling asleep (just make sure you close both books!). Currently backordered, but definitely on my wishlist.
What are you up to this weekend? My mom’s birthday is tomorrow, and we’re going to brunch at the museum on Sunday to celebrate. Tomorrow, unfortunately, is also Jamal’s departure date; he’s going to India (again) and South Africa (again!) for two weeks for work. Boo! In his absence, I plan on eating popcorn for dinner, unabashedly wearing my biggest sweatpants around the house, binging on tv shows, and missing him terribly.
Happy New Year! Did you all have a fun time counting down to midnight? Hope you’re not too hungover this morning! The best way to start 2014 is with some delicious, entirely amazing eye-candy, thereby setting the tone for a delicious, entirely amazing year. That’s how it works, right? You put out in the world what you want to get back from it: positivity, love, etc. Thus: Gary Oldman. You’re welcome!
January 1, 2014 / Gary Oldman /
I think it’s safe to say I’m most grateful this Thanksgiving for Gary Oldman. ;) Have a wonderful holiday, kiddos.
Thanks to my friend Scott for sending this video to me.
November 28, 2013 / Gary Oldman /
Today sucks. I had an asthma attack, my hairdryer broke, and I had a small anxiety meltdown, all before 7am. So here is a picture of Gary Oldman to make everything better. It’s working already.
I’ll be back tomorrow, kiddos. In the meantime, tell me a funny story.
November 7, 2013 / Gary Oldman /
SO. Remember that time I
stalked met Gary Oldman? Wait, side-note: no, I will never ever stop talking about meeting Gary Oldman because it was the most ridiculous and amazing thing that I’ve ever orchestrated has ever happened to me and I will pimp that ish until the day I die. Do you want to see the picture of us together? Thought you’d never ask!
Omfg his bow-tie. I just wanna love you, Gary Oldman!
He was in town filming a movie with Harrison Ford, Richard Dreyfuss, and Miley Cyrus’s on-again-off-again fiancé. That movie, titled “Paranoia,” officially has a trailer. Let’s watch, shall we?
There are lots of things to talk about. One, he has a British accent in the movie, but it’s a more affected version of his normal British accent. It’s like an American playing a southerner, only classier and more fabulous because it’s Gary Oldman being more British. Second, I watched the trailer approximately 30 times today alone and every time I tell myself I’m going to pay attention to the plot and I invariably end up drooling over Gary Oldman instead. But from what I can gather it’s like “Air Force One” only instead of the Harrison Ford and Gary Oldman playing the President and a Russian terrorist, respectively, they’re playing rival business tycoons using Miley Cyrus Guy as bait? And Sawyer from “Lost” is in it, and there are a lot of shots of Philly in the trailer, as well. So basically I have no idea what’s happening other than GARY OLDMAN IS FANTASTIC. I’m not going to bother seeing it in the theater when it comes out, though….
…..Just kidding, of course I’m going to!
David Bowie’s new song, “The Next Day,” features Gary Oldman as a priest, Marion Cotillard as a prostitute-turned-saint, lots of blood squirting everywhere, a blind woman with her eyeballs sitting on a tray in front of her, and most curiously of all, no discernable chorus. You’d think a song that bizarre would feature at least something you could sing along to, but it’s weird: every time I’ve watched it my brain has blocked out the background music. I guess it’s trying to process how gorey the rest of it is, and is distracted by Mr. Sexypants himself, Gary Oldman. Even as a weird priest with a hair-style reminiscent of Dracula, dude’s still got it.
Warning: graphic and weird.
I was hesitant to even post this video because it does just give me the heebie jeebies, but a) my last Tuesday Tunes was about the Backstreet Boys, I have to redeem myself, and b) it’s been waaay too long since I posted about Gary Oldman, and the last time I did I might’ve broken his heart by telling him we had to see other people.
In case you don’t follow me, and even if you do, here’s a smattering of what you can expect:
So apparently it’s the end of 2012? I don’t know how this happened. I’m half-tempted to stomp my feet about it and put up a fight; wasn’t it just May? But as this is the last Friday of the year, today’s Friday Five will be (as you could guess from the title) my 5 favorite highlights from the past year. I did the same thing last year, too. It might have flown by in a flash, but this year was chock-full of absolutely incredible experiences. Without further ado:
I can safely say this year was all sorts of amazing. I visited Belgium (and fell madly in love with the Flemish-speaking side of the world, to the point that Boyfriend and I agreed it would be awesome to own a house in Ghent one day) and Paris (this needs no explanation other than to say that if Paris ceased to exist, I would, too). What else? I MET GARY OLDMAN, thus fulfilling my life’s mission to successfully stalk him down and tell him I loved him (the year would have been better if by some stroke of magic Gary Oldman told me he loved me, too). I also started writing a book! I’ve never written 16,000 words of anything before, and there are still thousands more to come. I keep thinking that if I don’t get it all down on paper immediately, it will disappear from my brain, but every time I sit down to write, the entire story is still there. Fully formed, waiting to be translated into words. As much as I love Paris, my happy place this year has been sitting at my little desk, typing away for hours on this story.
And yes, I put my own blog on the list because (barring some freak accident over the weekend that prevents me from blogging on Monday) this year I will have blogged every single weekday. I made a commitment to do that at the beginning of the year, and while it wasn’t always easy or fun to feel obligated to churn a post out (especially when I wasn’t feeling creative or talkative, see: yesterday), it has been seriously rewarding in ways I never thought possible. This year I fostered new friendships and blog connections, and I’m grateful for every single one of you. Taking the time to read here, to comment, to be involved, to care about my materialistic blabber. So yeah, my own blog was a highlight, but so were each of yours. Will I blog every day next year? Hopefully! It was a fun accomplishment, and it’s something I want to cross off my 26 in 26 list.
What are your top five of this year? Any personal goals you checked off? Fun celebrity encounters? Have a wonderful weekend, kiddos.
I should preface this by saying this post is what happens after you sit on the sofa too long, scouring the internet for content, and aided by perhaps more gin than is normally acceptable for a Wednesday night by yourself. I’ll also say that this is the sequel to the “Gary Oldman Eating Macarons” wonderfulness that occurred on Twitter (here and here) when I realized that there are no available photographs of my supreme celebrity man crush eating macarons on the internet. Go to Google right now and search “Gary Oldman eating macarons.” I’m the first SIX RESULTS. I’m so proud!
Anyway, last night I realized there were no photographs of Gary Oldman in Paris. You know, my two favorite things in life. So I decided to rectify that situation the best way I know how: Photoshop. This whole thing took me 20 minutes from start to finish, lest you think I spent hours cropping him out of pictures and pasting him onto Parisian backdrops. My Photoshop skillz are apparently un-addled by things like “gin” or “sanity.”
ENJOY. Also, I’m sorry.
Oh, Gary Oldman, you shouldn’t have! Bringing me flowers in Paris. Vous êtes un gentleman!
Sometimes in Paris, Gary Oldman stands moodily in the doorway of his bedroom. Il est tres pensif.
He looks so natural, non? Il n’est pas concerned with the midget people around him.
Quoi? You don’t sit outside at a Parisian cafe in the rain in a tuxedo? Vous n’avez pas vécu!
Imagine walking into your building one day and seeing Gary Oldman just standing in the hall. Excusez-moi, monsieur.
If you had a window seat with a view of La Tour Eiffel, you would sit in it, too. Don’t judge him.
Sweet lord. I’m glad I at least entertain myself.