Thoughts on Thirty

Double Eiffel

Well, it happened. Despite all of my foot-stomping and protestations, sometime around 4:30am, I left my 20s and crossed into my 30s. I could be dramatic and say I ‘felt’ it happen, but if there has been one reliable constant in my 30 years on this earth, it’s that I sleep hard (well, minus a bout of insomnia in high school and college) and I was blissfully unconscious when I was dragged over the invisible mile-marker that means I am officially a Grown Up. It’s so weird. I still sleep with a stuffed animal, how can I possibly be THIRTY? (Please don’t tell anyone I still sleep with a stuffed animal, it would ruin my Adult Street Cred.) I don’t feel 30, but then, I haven’t truly “felt” any of the ages since 17, which is where I am mentally permanently stuck. Do they let 17 year olds get married and pay bills? Is there a grown-uppier grown up I could talk to about this?

Back when I was actually 17, I used to think 30 sounded so old (I still do), and so important (it still is, to me). I used to think I’d have everything figured out in my life, which is laughable because there are still areas of my life that I need to figure out that I don’t even know about yet. Does that make sense? I don’t know what I don’t know, but I do know that, despite not “having it all together” I am very, very lucky. I have my health, I have my family, I have my incredible friends everywhere from Philadelphia to California to Paris to Capetown, and I have Jamal & Fitz.

A few months ago, I made a short list of goals I wanted to accomplish before this big day. Let’s refresh:

1. Finish my novel
2. Go to Paris
3. Find a job that makes me happy

I have not finished my novel (I know, I know) but I am so, so close. The last half of this year has been wildly productive, and I am proud of my progress despite the fact I can’t yet call it “complete.”

I did go to Paris! Spoiler: it was as incredible as ever. As promised, I have a ton of photos to share you with you, starting with the one above, which was snapped from the baller hotel room we stayed in the first night. (Can 30 year olds use the word “baller”?) The trip was a delicious dream, and I am grateful beyond words that I was able to go last week to celebrate this birthday a little early.

And as for the job, I’ve been a little mum about this over the past few months, but back at the beginning of September I started an internship in the Fine Art Department at the oldest auction house in the country. I applied for mostly selfish reasons (given that my novel is set in an auction house, I figured working in one would be the best hands-on book research, and it absolutely has been!) but very early on I realized that I had finally, finally found a job I enjoyed going to every day. It’s been a dream: I’ve gone to the New York to show two Rembrandt etchings to an expert, proofread catalogues for sales, worked on condition report photos and measurements for countless paintings and lithographs from artists like Delacroix, Miró, Warhol, Roesen, Ensor, Picasso. It has been, honestly, more rewarding than I imagined, and for more than just my novel; this is the first job I’ve ever really loved. The only downside, because no job is perfect, is that, being an internship, it is unpaid. The team I work with has been so encouraging and supportive, and just yesterday the COO of the company pulled me into a conference room to tell me she received a glowing recommendation from the department, and after the New Year, they want to offer me a more permanent, paid position. Talk about timing. Talk about great birthday presents.

Well, kiddos, I’m off to eat macarons for breakfast and write all day, with a pit-stop for French class, too. Not a bad way to turn 30, still basking in the glow of my last Parisian adventure. Happy birthday to me!

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December 20, 2016 / life / dog / LEAVE A COMMENT / 8

8 comments

  • Happy Birthday and congratulations!

    • Thank you so much (belatedly!!) xo

  • Happy birthday, dear Erin!
    Gosh, I turned 40 (!!!) in May. I’m still so very shocked and in total denial about it. How did that happen!?

    • Thank you so much (belatedly!!) and happy belated birthday to you!! We can be in denial together :) xoxo

  • That’s awesome!!! Congratulations! It must feel SO good to wake up and be excited about going to work every day – can’t beat that. And happy birthday! I turn 30 next year, and I’m super excited about it. I keep feeling like I should make a list of goals or something, but I have a hard enough time keeping up with daily to-do lists, let alone a yearly one…

    • Thanks, Marine!! (although a bit belatedly!) It does feel wonderful to wake up and be thrilled about where I’m going, it’s a first for me, and I’m trying to hold on to it! I’ve seen people make lists of “30 before 30” and that just seemed too overwhelming to me, so I cut it way down. I’d say as long as you have one overarching goal to accomplish or work towards, you’re set! You could always steal my cop out of a new years resolution: be the best version of me. xoxo

  • Congratulations on the new job! Being able to do something you love and getting paid for it – that’s the jackpot

    • Thanks, ladybird! I’m anxiously awaiting a paycheck, but I’m still so in love with it in the meantime. I can’t complain! xo

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