The World’s Longest Baguette

If Wednesday’s post was filed under “The Most Ridiculous Thing I’ve Read in a While,” then today’s should be filed under, “The Sexiest Thing I’ve Ever Seen,” cross-filed under “I Totally CAN,” subcategory, “Gimme Gimme Gimme.”

Friends, fellow carb-lovers, insatiable inner-fat-kids, lend me your ears. I present to you: the world’s longest baguette, measuring in at a delicious, drool-inspiring 400ft (!!!):

World's Longest Baguette

LOOK AT IT. FEAST YOUR EYES UPON THIS MAGNIFICENCE. (But only your eyes, because if you try and touch what is rightfully mine, I’ll bite you.)

World's Longest Baguette

So here’s the backstory, if you can wipe the drool from your chin long enough to focus: Earlier this month, at the Milan Expo 2015, French and Italian bakers set out to beat the previously held record of world’s longest baguette (364ft. I call that a ‘mid-morning snack’ around here). They worked at a rate of 20 meters (66ft) per hour, sliding the dough through a portable oven that cooked it in sections, and fighting against the elements (cold weather! breakage!) like the brave, heroic souls that they are. The whole enterprise was monitored by the Guinness World Record Committee, and sponsored by Nutella. Repeat: SPONSORED BY NUTELLA. So you know what happened after they set the 400ft record, don’t you? DON’T YOU??

World's Longest Baguette

Beethoven’s “Ode To Joy” started playing in my head immediately upon seeing this photo. Oh, how I wish I’d been in Milan for this! Because expo-goers got to eat pieces of it after they had finished. We’ll ignore the fact that it looks less like a crispy, crunchy, traditional French baguette, and more like a slightly burned Italian roll, because honestly, it’s bread of an endless quantity, covered in Nutella. If there is anything sexier than that, I have yet to find it.

Happy weekend, kiddos! And I would wish you all a Happy Halloween, except I am not-so-secretly terrified of/hate Halloween. You can read all about that here, and see some awesome costumes I wore in my childhood right here.

Hat tip to my friend Herbie for sending me this story!

7 thoughts on “The World’s Longest Baguette

  1. You’re absolutely right about Ode to Joy playing as we read this! It’s gorgeous and beautiful and only something that would appear at a World’s Fair! Magnificent!

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