Dream Job

Tea & Writing

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

I don’t mean something like, “doctor” or “lawyer,” actual professions you can go to school for and obtain a specified degree. I mean something zany, and overly precise, and likely non-existant, like “Museum Hanger-Outer.” You know, that dream job where you’d be paid a salary to sit in museums all day and look at paintings and think.

After watching that hours-long annual spectacle on TV yesterday, I realized there are people in this world who get to do their dream job for a living. Children with a profound enthusiasm for one particular thing can grow up and be paid to do that thing in a professional setting, paycheck and all. I’m speaking, of course, about the wondrous event that is Puppy Bowl; the producers of that show as well as the ref, I like to think, grew up believing, “One day I will get to play with adorable puppies and be paid for it.” We should all be such dreamers.

So, let’s.

What career title would you choose for yourself if the world were such a place? Ideally, I’d love to have a job where I can be paid to read books all day, maybe in a small art gallery. Gallery Bibliophile, I believe it’s called. When I was younger I would have loved to be a Space Ballerina, a job that would have combined ballet and my brief flirtation with becoming an astronaut (a track that was swiftly made unavailable to me due to my, shall we say, lack of mathematical prowess). Don’t ask me how a grande arabesque would have worked in zero gravity, but I’m sure it would have been beautiful.

Your turn.

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February 2, 2015 / life / dog / LEAVE A COMMENT / 32

32 comments

  • the puppy bowl! i didn’t watch either bowl yesterday, though i kept meaning to turn on the puppy bowl. i am imagining it’s a pretty surreal moment when the refs think about being a ref, being on animal planets for the puppy bowl – it’s probably hard to wrap your brain around that i’d think.

    it i could do anything, golly. i think i’d like to be a perfumist, with my own little perfumery tucked away in a very old city. xo

    • a perfumist – so romantic. i love it! i mostly love how perfumes scents can be described like poetry.

    • I think I would pass out from excitement if I got that phone call. “Can you referee puppy bowl this year?” THUD. What a life!

      I love your choice. I haven’t read it, but on the surface your dream job reminds me of the book “The Perfume Collector.” Promise me I can come hang out in your shop one day? :) xo

  • If I could do anything and get paid for it, I’d be a professional tourist!

    • That is such a good choice!! Why didn’t I think of that? Well, I’d mostly want to be a Professional Parisian ;) xo

  • I’m technically currently a Museum Hanger-Outer, but I also have to work so it brings down the perks of hanging out in a museum all day.

    When I started thinking of my dreamy dream job, I instantly thought of someone who reads all day. But you have that in an art gallery as your dream, so I need something more personal. We can’t all read books in galleries all day, right?

    I’d have to say, I’d love to be a tarot card reader (a form of reading!) for a travelling circus. Travel! Reading! Mysticism! Let’s call it Spectacular Tarot Interpreter. Sounds magical to me.

    • Yeah, it’s the whole element of “work” that really drags everything down, I think. That makes it sound like I have no work ethic, haha. “We can’t all read books in galleries all day, right?” WHY NOT? Oh, if only!

      I think being a tarot card reader for a traveling circus would be just about as fascinating a life as you could get. Think of all the characters you’d meet! All the places you’d see! Of course, I’m picturing all of this during the earlier part of the 1900s, but let’s pretend time travel is allowed in all this fantasizing. :) xo

  • Does epistolarian equestrienne extraordinaire count as one? I’d also like to have a shoppe. Not really sure what all I would sell in the said shoppe (okay maybe I have some ideas) but pretty sure I’d love to do that as a side job. Could I also run a library out of my shoppe?

    • That it is a “shoppe” and not a “shop” automatically makes it an even more exciting venture. You could sell lovely little things, tiny globes or rare books or lucky horseshoes. If you get to run a library, I get to be the person who climbs the big rolling ladders and dusts all the books! Deal? xo

  • i attempted to answer this 9am this morning, then waylaid by the dayjob…

    today’s wistful fantasy job would be professional instagram critic…except i’d probably just hit heart on everything

    • Ooh, that’s a good one, Emma. You’d need to take breaks throughout the day and rest your eyes, of course. It’s so neat to think that, were we having this discussion even 5 years ago, that might not have been an option! Was Instagram around then? xo

  • I would love to be a Sassy Top 40 Critic. But not work at E! or anything like that – I cannot talk about celebrities and how thin they need to be all day (yuck), but I can talk about pop lyrics and their social implications, how boy bands need to frickin DANCE, and that the (well done) 90s R&B duet needs a comeback. However, I don’t think a lot of people agree with me. That’s why it’s more fun to do around a helpless passenger in my car. :)

    • Those car rides sound right up my alley, Stephanie! We could have an entire job devoted to the dance moves of the New Kids on the Block, as far as I’m concerned. Any excuse to listen to boy band music all day (not that I don’t do that now…haha). I’d love to hear some of your talking points on pop lyrics and their social implications! xo

  • I’d love hold babies and calm them down, snuggle little puppies, shop, and exercise horses….but, not all at once. Instead, I taught Sp Ed………

    • Those are such good ones! Puppy Snuggler is like my ultimate dream job, as long as it comes with a lifetime supply of Claritin and nasal spray. And let’s be honest, Shopping is basically your job now that you are retired and I am SO SO jealous! xo

      • My shopping has been shortened by lunch dates with friends. It’s a hard knock life.

  • I would be a professional baby namer. Naming other people’s children. That should be a thing. I have so many amazing name combinations in my head and I will not be having 500 children to use them on!

    • Ooh, love that, Lauren. There should honestly be a list of acceptable names here, like in Sweden, where there is literally a law in place that requires government approval before naming your baby. Think of how many fewer Khaleesis or Jaxons or other regrettable names we would have in this country! My best friend is a nurse on the maternity floor and her favorite part of the job is finding out what people named their babies. These tiny things are going to grow up and be people one day! Poor little Khaleesi is going to have to go on job interviews one day. Can you even imagine? xo

  • A food taster, without the calories ;)

    • Holy crap, that would be the best. I would do nothing but eat donuts and macarons. And spoonfuls of nutella. And blocks of cheese. Oh my god, stop me! xo

  • I would be a Life Curator.

    • Ooh. What would that entail precisely? Helping others, or just for your own life? xo

  • Let’s dream ! Mon travail rêvé sera de créer ! Avoir un atelier, une pièce rien que pour moi. Dessiner, bricoler, écrire, faire mon blog et vivre de tout ça ! J’aurais aimée aussi travaillée dans la publicité ou être journaliste pour le magazine “Elle”.
    Je bien aimée ton article Erin, tu fait toujours réfléchir ;) xo

    • Oh, ce serait le rêve! Une petite chambre juste pour créer. Désolée, un “atelier,” bien sûr. Si tu seras une journaliste pour “Elle” tu devras trouver un travail pour moi! Je puisse être photographer, ou quelque chose. xo

  • connoisseur of carefully crafted coffee, of course! first part of the job discription would require that i take pictures of the pretty latte art and the second requirement would be that i drink all the caffeine! mwahahaha!

    • +10 points for a beautiful alliteration, in addition to a dreamy sounding job! You’d never sleep, though! Which, with your kiddo might be exactly why you need caffeine! xo

  • If I could be anything? I would be a professional talker. I suppose they’re called voice actors these days, but I wouldn’t want to do voices, I would just want to do MY voice. Mainly books on tape. Or my own weird little podcast or radio show. I’ve always said I just want to get paid to talk! Although, getting paid to walk around new cities sounds pretty swell too.

    • God, with as talkative as I am naturally, it sure would be nice to be paid for it! I love that idea, and I would totally listen to your podcast! Jessy, upthread, mentioned being a professional tourist, which I think ties in nicely with your “walking around new cities” idea :) xo

  • Fun question! I’d be a travelling food writer, not a critic because that implies that I’m there to judge. I’d rather just want to try different foods around the world. It would be fun to focus on a theme like eating street food or dining at small family-run businesses, and then collecting the stories that come with them.

    • That would make for a really fascinating life! How cool would it be to hop to every Michelin starred restaurant around the globe, and then try all the best food trucks on the next go-around? What a great idea, Vanessa! xo

  • I want to be a professional thinker. read and talk and learn all day long about, you know, stuff. that’s so geeky, isn’t it. and boring.

    • Not boring at all. The solitude that accompanies that sort of dream job sounds DIVINE. xo