The other night as I was falling asleep, Jamal sitting up watching House Hunters next to me, I heard the most marvelous thing a girl obsessed with Gary Oldman could hope to hear in the dark of her bedroom: Gary Oldman. “It sounds like…” I thought, drowsily, but then again when am I not hallucinating about hearing Gary Oldman’s voice? It didn’t sound like the usual loop of him reading poetry to me that I like to imagine; he was talking about something indecipherable. A phone? That couldn’t be Gary Oldman. “Wait…is it?” I sat up. There he was: on the television, staring moodily out the window, none other than my crush to end all crushes, Gary Oldman.
Can you seriously imagine anything better than being jolted awake by a THIRTY FULL SECONDS of this:
It’s the most mesmerizing thing I’ve ever seen. Needless to say I had trouble falling back to sleep. I wanted to immediately run out and buy what I am now referring to as The Gary Oldman Phone.
Oh, Gary Oldman! I know I had to break up with you last year, but I hope we can be together again in the future! True love waits for no man, I know, but–
OH, GARY OLDMAN. You know how to make a girl swoon.
PS. Guess who learned how to make gifs from video?! THIS GIRL.