Well! I didn’t plan on taking three days off from posting (my longest stint since 2011, and certainly the longest when I wasn’t on vacation) but then again I didn’t plan on getting the flu, either. I woke up Saturday morning with a little cough, and took my inhaler thinking it was just my usual chest tightness. By Saturday afternoon, after a probably-not-helpful-in-hindsight walk in the snow, it was clear it wasn’t going away, but that was fine, a cough is nothing. By Saturday night, I might as well have had sad game show music playing after my every movement; this was no mere cough. When I woke up Sunday morning aching all over, feeling like someone had taken a baseball bat to my back, a Cough with a capital-C, and a 102 fever, there was no denying it. The flu!
I needn’t tell you how exceedingly mopey and depressive I get when I’m sick, but oh, oh this was malaise on a whole new scale. Things hurt! I was sweaty! I shuffled back and forth between bed and the sofa, my will to live trailing sadly behind me in a flurry of used tissues. And, perhaps most disappointingly, I had been looking forward for weeks to attending an Old Masters auction on Tuesday morning that, in my weakened, near-death state, I obviously had to skip.
It was probably for the best, because who knows what I would’ve accidentally bid on in my fevered delirium. Not that I was going to bid, I was just excited to go (book research!) and see that Edouard Manet sketch (above right, which ended up selling for $33k!) in person. To experience the exhilaration of an auction floor. Stupid influenza.
As if that wasn’t enough, our heater broke late Monday. Not that I could tell because temperatures had ceased to mean anything to me by that point, as I was alternately standing in the shower with the water as hot as it would go, shivering and with actual goosebumps on me, and then sweating through everything I slept in, my eyes boiling out of my head.
And then my debit card information was stolen, and the thief tried to charge five separate purchases of $4.95 for (wait for it) Christian bible studies ebooks. I’m not an expert in religion, but I’m pretty sure Jesus didn’t really condone stealing? I called my bank and said, “But, but…I’M JEWISH!” I must’ve sounded insane to the poor customer service representative, and to be fair, I was. I hadn’t been vertical in days, the altitude change from having to sit up and make a phone call was jarring.
But the heater got fixed, my bank flagged the charges, and my health is on the up-swing. In fact, I’m back at work today and feeling far more human than I have in days (changing out of sweatpants might have helped). If bad things come in threes, I should be set for a while, yes?
How was your week? I’ve missed you guys!