An Open Letter to Gary Oldman

I’m home! It’s definitely nice to see Fitz again, but the view out my window doesn’t include the top of Sacre Coeur, and that’s taking some getting used to. First and foremost, I want to thank my incredibly generous guest posters, Niki, Santa, Christine, and Sue, for picking up the slack for me while I was in Paris. Aren’t their homes just beautiful? You can tell each of them has a great eye for design (they each made me want to fully redecorate my entire house). Thanks again, ladies!

I have tons of pictures to share with you from the trip and lots of stories to tell (it was 63° and sunny on Saturday and 32° and snowing on Tuesday!) but first, and this may seem out of left field, I think it’s necessary to write a letter to my Number 1 Celebrity Crush to End All Crushes: Gary Oldman.

Dear Gary Oldman,

It is with a heavy heart that I feel I must tell you it’s time we moved on. Stop that, don’t cry. This isn’t easy for me. You know how much I’ve obsessed over you. Look, we had a really good thing going, and that time I met you and totally scared you with my creepiness was special for both of us. It’s something I’ll never forget. But it’s time we faced reality: you’re married, you don’t know I exist, and while I think I could be happy photoshopping you into Parisian scenes for a while, this wasn’t built to last, Gary Oldman.

There’s someone I love more. And last Friday in Paris…

this happened:


You may know him as Boyfriend, but that isn’t an accurate descriptor anymore. Because last Friday, in my favorite city in the entire world, in the gardens of the Rodin Museum, just as it was starting to rain, Boyfriend asked me to marry him. I said yes, Gary Oldman. Obviously. It wasn’t the romantic, mushy scene you always see in movies, either. He got down on one knee and I totally lost my shit. I doubled over laughing, shocked and surprised, and afterwards said I had to sit down because I felt like I was going to throw up. So, basically, I handled it the way I handle everything in my life: like a complete and total spaz. But it was honest, and real. And he hasn’t changed his mind yet!


And while he may not be a big time actor, or British, or old enough to be my father, he’s got some special qualities of his own. He’s kind, he’s smart, can figure out tip at a restaurant without a calculator, knows all the different kinds of clouds, is funny, likes mini-golf, prefers vanilla to chocolate, knows my name (more than I can say for you), and if that’s not enough for you, Gary Oldman, he even puts up with my insane love for you. So there.


His name is Jeffrey, but I mostly call him by his initials, JML. Which I now realize is like, two vowels away from being “JAMAL” which just makes me crack up. I kind of want to call him JAMAL now, as a joke. I’m not sure what I’ll call him when I mention him in blog posts, but I won’t refer to him as Boyfriend anymore, because he’s not! I went to Paris and got a fiancé! And gained 3 pounds of just croissants! Score!

So, Gary Oldman, don’t look back on our time together with regret. It was special. I’m moving on now, though, and think you should, too. Don’t worry, I’ll keep the framed picture of us on my night table, but just know that if you’re ever in Philly again, JAMAL said you better watch your back.



31 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Gary Oldman

  1. Oh happy, happy, HAPPY day. I’m so thrilled for you both (sorry Gary). Does this mean you’re taking the picture of you and Gary off your beside table? I think it couldn’t have been a better way to kick off your vacation in the most romantic city in the world. What a wonderful memory you (and we all) have now!

    I’m a firm believer in marriage. I love being married…it’s the best thing I ever did, and my marriage delights me every day. I wish you and JAMAL every happiness in the world. You deserve it.

    And I think Fitz’s behavior issues may be genetic. XOXO

  2. could it be any more perfect? you actually brought a tear to my eye… CONGRATULATIONS erin & jamal!!! heartfelt… to the boy who got down on one knee in paris & the girl who laughed in the face of romance, quite literally!!! i wish you a beautiful future filled with macarons & memories of paris & all that is to come!!! suck eggs gary, you had your chance & you, my friend, blew it!!! bisous!!!

  3. OMG!!! Congratulations, you crazy kids – what wonderful news!
    Movie romance is SO overrrated. Besides as I always say, being asked by the love of your life is romantic enough. :D

    Gary who?!!

    P.S. I got the giggles too when The Hubster proposed which kept him on his knee nervously waiting for an answer. :D xoxo

  4. Sooo funny! Jamal! Totes hilars!

    knows my name (more than I can say for you), you crack me up.

    I’m SO happy for you and glad Jamal has been introduced to us properly. Maybe he’ll comment on your blog for the first time ever?? come on Jamal write a guest post!

  5. Congratulations Erin! When I saw “this happened” I got chills! I’m in class otherwise I would have aw-ed out loud! I’m positively grinning here! Enjoy this time, it’s so special! Not only do you have the loveliest proposal story, in Paris, in the Rodin gardens, but with a BEAUTIFUL ring. Best wishes to you both, I cannot wait to see what you plan!

  6. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I had no idea where this post was going until I clicked “Continue Reading.” Best proposal story and JML (Jamal) did an amazing job with the ring! AND in Paris, you’re favorite city. Oh, he’s good, SO good! Congratulations, you two!
    Ha, I sent that Tweet before I read everyone’s comments. Yep, you totally started something with Jamal. Even in one of the most significant moments of your life, you’re still funny. Love that about you. xo

  7. That was hilarious! I love you, Erin…you made my day with this one. I’m so happy for you (and JAMAL)! Congratulations!

  8. Congrats, again to you and Jamal. I love you both and I am so happy for the both of you. Your grandmother is even getting her teeth done and asked if I know when the wedding was, lmao!

  9. Amazing Erin!! Congratulations! Couldn’t have happened in a more romantic way. And now have an excuse to visit Paris every year to celebrate the day you got engaged!! Seriously so happy for you and loved seeing a picture of your fiancée – he’s so much hotter than Gary so I’m glad you’ve made your peace with G.O. I see lots of new Pintrest boards in your future:) xxo

  10. Oh my gosh in love with his proposal and your reaction! Just found your blog through The Plumed Nest. Love it! And congrats again!

  11. OMG Erin!! Congratulations!!! I’m so happy I’m ending my day with this blog post! At first I didn’t know what to make of it “..breaking up with Gary Oldman?- Say it aint so!” But you have a very good reason. And I knew, based on previous posts that the BF sounded like a keeper. I am really truly happy for you. And now there is another reason why Paris will forever be special to you.

  12. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Congratulations Erin! I am so happy for you and Jamal! I didn’t know what this post would be leading to but as soon as I hit continue reading and saw the ring I knew. How many exclamation points can one use in a little blog comment? For this one not enough!…Have an awesome weekend and hopefully you’ll shake the jet lag soon! xx

  13. I’m in America and considering parachuting out over Pennsylvania on the way home JUST so I can grab you by the shoulders (yes technically this is a stranger danger situation) and SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE in your face!


    What a perfect place to propose (and also I stalkerishly feel we have EVEN MORE in common since we both got engaged on the lovely streets of the City of Light. Lizard hiss, eye dart etc?) and how lovely for the both of you! Squeeeeeeeeeeeee long distance!

  14. Stupid me for not reading these in order. Congratulations Erin and JAMAL! I’m so happy for both of you guys. How friggin utterly romantical and perfect for both of you – GAH! I’m gagging with happiness. :) YAY you two!

  15. Soz late to the blog party honey, I’m reading from 1st to last playing catch up :-)
    Congratulations to you and lovely Jamal. Such a beautiful ring – See?! the boy really did do good x
    I love that the first post you do about your engagement involves heavily GO!
    But It’s a sad day when you have to tell GO how you really feel, but I’m sure he’ll understand – being involved with an actor can be a lonely life for a wife I think. Jamal is absolutely the better option ;-)
    Question, will GO get an invite to the wedding perhaps?

  16. Congratulations! Feels like a life time ago that I was engaged and forever since I got married… Ugh… I feel old… My all time fav city is London and that’s where my mr. proposed… It makes for a lasting memory and an amazing excuse to visit there regularly ;)

  17. I just clicked through to your site from my friend Carin’s blog and I had to say your writing is hilarious! Congrats on the engagement! (I got engaged in Paris myself last year — city of love right?!)

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