Remember a few weeks ago when I gave my mini-diatribe about people stealing my stuff or heavily “borrowing” it? I have a new one to add to the list: West Elm themselves have decided to copy my swagger. Yes, I said swagger. Just Monday I posted the story of how I got a magical bargain on a pendant light, titled “Let There Be (Cheap) Light.” I even tweeted about it and mentioned @WestElm. What shows up in my inbox a mere 3 days later? This email, from West Elm:
Coincidence? I think not. How shady! (Get it? Shady? Shade-y? See what I did there? Sorry, I didn’t get much sleep last night, thank you, sheeting rain) Clearly I am SO AWESOME that West Elm just has no choice but to steal all my ideas. I mean, really. I’d love to be grumpy about it, but this obviously means I am doing something right. Maybe I should write a post for IKEA and then if they try to steal it I’ll make them give me a job designing showrooms. My god, wouldn’t that be the best job in the world?
Shifting gears a bit (okay, a lot), you might have noticed this post was titled “Celebrity Crushes.” So we’ve talked about girl crushes already, but I realized I never gave the menfolk their due. There are a bunch of hunky men in Hollywood (don’t you dare try to tell me that Christian Bale or Ben Affleck belong in that category, or we aren’t friends anymore), but after careful observation and years-long obsessions, I’ve been able to narrow down my biggest celebrity crushes to these 3 contenders:
Crush #1. Gary Oldman.
Yes, weird, I know. But there is something so incredibly attractive about him, and yes, I know he is old enough to be my father, and he generally plays the creepy, scary murder or bad guy (like, in almost every movie he’s ever made), but come. on. Have you ever seen “Immortal Beloved,” the movie where he played Beethoven? Or “Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead,” the movie about the two wacky side characters in ‘Hamlet’? Or, perhaps, the movie that started my entire obsession with his gorgeous man, “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” (DON’T JUDGE ME)? He’s fascinating to me.
Crush #2. Robert Pattinson. Like every other woman and 14 year old girl in the universe.
Team Edward. That’s all that needs to be said. I finally saw “Breaking Dawn” last night with my mom and sister-in-law, and it just confirmed everything for me about him. Can we talk about his hair? He’s got great hair. And he’s British, too, just like Gary Oldman (are we sensing a theme, yet?), but unlike Gary Oldman he was born the same year I was. I think my favorite thing about him isn’t that he plays a sparkly vampire in Young Adult movies, it’s that in real life he always looks like he doesn’t even care about any of the attention. And that he could really use a shower. Quit looking at me like that.
Crush #3. Jim Halpert (aka John Krasinski).
There’s no way you’ve watched “The Office” and not developed a crush on Jim, the dorky, adorable, Pam-smitten paper salesman. My crush is actually more on the character he plays on tv, but level with me: how cute is he in that Gap ad with the scarf? He is so cute and goofy on the show, it’s impossible to not to have a crush on him. To be honest, in real life I’m more attracted to his hot wife, Emily Blunt. They make such a gorgeous couple, it’s ridiculous.
Anderson Cooper, the silver fox CNN host. Chiefly, this moment:
Okay. Spill the beans, you guys. Who are you biggest and most enduring celebrity crushes? Who are your guilty-pleasure crushes? Any you’re embarrassed to admit? It’s so gross and rainy here today, I’d love to have a fun distraction.