In which I triumph over IKEA

Ladies and gentleman, my consumerism knows no bounds. I’m guilty of spending more than is appropriate on a single item and then having to eat cereal for a month to compensate, yes, but I think we can add a new notch in my Belt of Materialistic Indulgences:

You’re probably thinking, “Vases? She’s talking about vases?” Ah, dear reader, not just any vases, no. These vases are the same gorgeous ones I mentioned here, from IKEA’s new Spring collection. If  you’ll remember correctly, they weren’t for sale at my local IKEA. Or the other IKEA 45 minutes away. Or any IKEA closer than a 2 hour drive. “But then, how did you come to acquire these delicious vases, oh greedy one?”

Well, I did what any sane, rational consumer would do when faced with the seemingly crippling defeat of not being able to waste over $20 on vases that will likely sit empty next to the TWO OTHER ONES she already has, albeit in different colors.

(In case you are wondering, the sane, rational response IS NOT: “Well, that’s okay. I can live without them.” OH NO. If you are looking for that, you’ve come to the wrong place.)

I made my boyfriend drive to northern New Jersey, mere miles outside of Manhattan, to let me race around the store and buy 3 of them. It doesn’t even matter if I wanted all 3 colors. I was given the opportunity to buy all 3, so I bought all 3. You never know when I’ll need them! They are pretty and decorative and I had to have them. And now that I have them in my clutches, the itching in my chest, the crazy, unfulfilled urge to make them mine has been satiated. Though I’m pretty sure if I had to wait even another day to get them, I would have exploded from the sheer magnitude of my unmet need. Look, babies cry when you don’t change their diapers, we all have problems.

You may be thinking that it is silly and wasteful to drive 2 hours of your way for a vase. Well, you’d be right. But you’re probably also a Birther, so your opinion doesn’t really count.

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